devilstongue | Open RP Post

[ He snorts at the 'bad boy' prt, but he's a willing accomplice to the sausage feast... although he draws the line at fucking onion sauce, what the fuck Fjord? The mix of pork and apple is enough for him.

Molly is lulled into a false sense of security as he's eating, but of course the half-orc has to break that by his question. He snaps off another piece of sausage with his teeth, finishing that before answering. ]

I was just talking to my goddess. [ He lies, smoothly. ] I had the best view in here, and I might have nodded of a bit until you clomped inside.

[ It's not the Nein's problem that he's messed up, and they're treating him like he's an expensive vase about to fall off the pedestal already. He's not one of them any more; he can't fool himself into believing that.

They grew so far apart from him that he feels like a stranger. ]

[ The thing is, Fjord is suspicious but it's a good excuse and weirder deities have been contacted in less logical ways. Moonlight and sunlight look so similar here, it's probably the best place to have a talk with the Moonweaver. Then again, Molly's capacity for bullshit is endless and Fjord has never known him to be spiritual before.

Maybe it's something to do with, well. Dying. ]

Oh? And did she have anything interesting to say?

No. Just being her lovely self.

[ Bless Fjord for not calling him on his lie. He takes another bite of his sausage and gestures a bit with it. ]

Tell me about your Lady! Talk about an upgrade, hmm?

[ From a freaky entity to lovely nature mom. That seems like a nice, safe discussion that isn't about him. ]

[ That's a distraction if ever he heard one but it's not like he can press Molly for information on why he's being a depressed, touchy bastard. ]

She's lovely, yes. Cares about the oceans and forests and ... shit. [ Look, okay. He's no Caduceus. ] What I mean is, she cares about her followers, I know that for a fact.

[ Fjord is a very good friend to not be pushing him, and it is nice to hear him talk about his new patron, even if it's a little bumbly and awkward. ]

Sounds nice. I'm glad you upgraded so someone who doesn't make you spit up things at night.

[ It was a strange and somewhat worrying thing to wake up to now and then, after all. ]

It seems you and Mr. awesome hair up there have a lot in common now. He's nice.

Caduceus? He's amazing, absolutely. Slightly creepy but I don't think that's his fault, he was left alone for a long time. Do you like him? I know he likes you.

[ They can all pretend Caduceus didn't make innocently harrowing comments about tasting the flowers on Molly's former grave, should they travel that way again. That had really been a ... conversation. Thank fuck Veth had cracked up to lighten the atmosphere.

He bites through a thick sausage with his tusk, happily shredding it in two to nibble on. ]

He and Jessie got me out of that grave, how can I not like him?

[ Okay, okay, the man was really tall and rather creepy at times, but he also helped keeping this group together. Helping people with their issues and just... being really kind. Caduceus was exactly what the Nein needed. ]

He likes me? That's a relief, at least. He's a little hard to read at times, but a nice fellow nonetheless.

[ A fellow that wanted to make tea out of his grave. Molly was so into that idea, it was ridiculous yet fitting for a man named Tealeaf. ]

I'm glad he was here when I couldn't.

[ Mmm, more onion sauce ... ]

He's really found his niche with us, for a while he was shaken up by travelling in the real world, almost drowned a few times. Did anyone tell you he died? Nott accidentally murdered him with an explosive arrow, that fight was a mess. [ Monchmonchmonch. Trauma is more easily discussed over food. ] Feels like more of us are dying these days than aren't.

[ He cringes at that, lowering his sausage and looking over at Fjord with a bit of a pained look on his face. ]

Him, Nott and you. Don't fucking do that, any of you. It's not what it's cracked up to be, so I don't want to hear about anyone dying again.

[ Yeah, he knows. Nott... Veth asked if he saw them when they were dead and that's a terrifying thought. His friends, dead... it didn't matter if they got up again within minutes rather than a year later. It was still a lot. ]

You're too important to just go dying. Heroes of two empires. Heroes do not die.

Try including yourself in that propaganda the next time and I might believe it.

[ Here, want half a sausage? He dipped it just for you, bud. ]

I can't exactly do that. I'm not part of any of it.

[ He takes the offered sausage and tries it with that blasted onion sauce on it. It's... better than he thought, honestly. The Exandrian version of dipping your fries in your shake.

Then Molly realizes what he said and backtracks a bit. ]

I'll remember to not get stabbed again.

What do you mean, you're not part of it? Of being a hero? None of us are, Molly, not really.

[ Also, Molly is a hero, Fjord is just. Keeping that opinion to himself. ]

Part of any of it, really.

[ Wait, shit. Backtrack! ]

Nevermind, I'm just being dramatic at shit'o'clock in the morning.

... Okay.

[ The sausages finally lose his focus, staring at Molly at his side. ]

Is that why you're sitting in here alone too, you're not part of the rest of the house? It's just you and your Moonweaver?

No, I... fuck it, okay? It's nothing.

[ His hackles are up again, that clipped voice back rather than the easy, charming and shit-talking sway that's remembered. Molly sighs, pushing back his hair once more while his tail makes little annoyed whips behind him. ]

I'm still getting used to this.

[ He shakes his head as his gaze flickers over Molly from snippy tone to twitchy tail, and he's surprised no one else has caught on sooner. ]

You belong with us, that's not up for debate. However long it takes you to ... readjust, we'll be here.

I was with you for just over a month, Fjord. You guys have been together for over a year. You're so far ahead of me that I can't even see the back of your heads any more.

[ He stubbornly looks away. Molly hates the truth, it's bitter and painful. It opens up like a wound, bleeding problems that do not need to be heard, that doesn't help the situation. It just hurts, not just him but everyone else as well.

The truth just leaves pain, and he will always prefer the lie. Pretending everything is like it used to be for the sake of not only them but for himself as well.

Yet here he is, the truth slipping from his lips. ]

You've all changed so much that I barely even know you anymore. I'm grateful to be alive, but I don't know why you even came for me. You had moved on so far from that ragtag group of assholes, you didn't need me.

If I helped seal you all together as a group, that was worth it. Now I just feel like a ghost, and afterthought of guilt. Some of you changed because of my death and it now feels... cheapened, now.

[ He can't believe what he's hearing, which is highly ironic since it's everything he expected. It makes him furious, heat burning in his cheeks as he turns to face him with none of the tact some of the others might employ, jabbing a finger at Molly's chest where he was stabbed. It's an effort not to raise his voice. ]

You stupid, selfish bastard. None of that matters! You don't have any idea, do you? No idea how much it means to everyone that you're back, you're sitting around in the dark moping about not fitting in instead of talking to us. It doesn't mean a damn thing if we've changed, we're still your friends, or did dying scramble your head that much?

[ Molly hisses back as he's jabbed in the rather gruesome scar courtesy of aftermath of his death, pulling his now less low-cut shirt more closed. ]

You barely even knew me! I can understand Yasha, but the rest of you? Fuck. You've all been together for essentially half of my lifespan and you think I'll just hop in like I've never left?

[ It's hot, vitriolic acid, these words, and it's not making any of it better. ]

What am I supposed to talk to you about? How is that even helpful? Saying that I feel like I don't fit in any more is just going to create more guilt and people denying it. The fucking truth is you're all strangers to me now. New names, new bodies, new voices, new secrets. I don't know any of you and the only reason I'm back is because you somehow need to get it off your conscience.

[ Pause. ]

...and I can't live up to this saint some of you have built me up to be, taking my words as some kind of gospel. I'm an asshole.

[ It's horrible. Ire and fury slip away word by word until even his scowl is gone, replaced with a frown. It was only a month but it was the best of his to date at the time, he didn't anticipate how it would feel to have real friends that he could trust to sleep in the same room at night or play with mid-battle because there was the certainty they would also keep each other safe. There was so much comfort packed into those nights spent on the road and in taverns, it was all a blur of excitement and magic. ]

I don't know what to say to you when you're like this, but don't you dare talk to anyone else this way. We actually do care about you.

[ He remembers all the times he went to bed on the floor (in water, once) because he was so terrified of not living up to the Tough Guy front he had going on and giving into something under his skin whenever Molly would bed down for the night, jewellery carefully placed aside and bared tattoos on view. Fjord remembers wanting, and how scary that feeling had been, manifesting in other ways as he harassed Molly for attention mid-battle and enjoying riling him up.

Fjord steps into the tiefling's space with a solemn expression, looking him over. His voice softens, wounded and quiet. ]

I never wanted us to be strangers. I still don't.

[ He went to far, he knows he did. Some of it wasn't even true, but he was angry and stressed and just... fucked up about all of this. It hurt, all of it and he doesn't know how to deal. Fjord's right, though. He couldn't speak this way to anyone else. ]

Fuck. That was... really unfair of me. I'm sorry.

[ Molly looks at the half-orc as the man steps into his place, and the way that voice has a pained edge to it is terrible. Sighing, he leans his head towards a pyjama top, resting his horns against the hidden abs. ]

I don't know how to handle this, Fjord. I can't lie or laugh my way out of how I feel and that just makes me feel like I'm not myself any more. Being an asshole is all I have left.

[ He pats Molly on the head between his horns, rests another hand on his shoulder to give a squeeze. ]

Nobody expects you to be an asshole. Nobody expects anything, they're over the moon to have you back because that's all that really matters to them. They missed you, not the performance of a man.

[ Molly's hair is soft, he absently notes as green fingers weave through the waves, smoothing them down in vain. ]

I missed you, you idiot.

[ That was a little bit soothing; Molly is a very touch-based creature in general. Sure, Yasha had essentially carried him around for an entire day when he was raised from the dead and he's had a million hugs (even from Beau!), but the fact that he just said a lot of hurtful things and Fjord still wanted to touch him shaved of another layer of the storm of anger and confusion inside of him. ]

...I missed you guys too. No time passed for my consciousness but I still missed you somehow.

Can I get a hug or do I have to use these super manly Paladin arms to hoist you out of that chair?

[ Fjord ruffles Molly's hair to try and lighten the mood. Not to avoid the issue, but perhaps ease it. ]

It's your choice but I may crush you into paste by accident.

Alright, alright. No need for threats.

[ He'll hug you, green man. Getting up from his seat, Molly wraps his arms around the half-orc and pats his back a bit. That previously squished tail end curls slightly around one of Fjord's ankles for good measure. ].

...you really got broader around those shoulders, didn't you? I really better be careful to not get squished.

[ It's a lighter mood, that's for sure. It's still hurting inside, but it's on manageable levels again. Hopefully that doesn't mean he's going to have to blow up on everyone he loves before this... post-revival whatever stops haunting him. ]

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