Mollymauk Tealeaf (
devilstongue) wrote2020-11-29 06:47 pm
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ยป Age: more than 20 ยป Species: Tiefling ยป A5 Card: Open ยป Seeking: Fun, interetsing people ยป Preferences: Any! Men, women, both, nayder! ยป Interests: Fun new experienses, new metings and you ยป Bio: Former carnie. Flecsible. Purple all over. The cards tell me you shuld try me on! (Only leve voice mesages.) | ||||||
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Mollymauk Tealeaf | ||||||
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Marriage. Fuck. ]
Who says she has to barter it away? Maybe this is her chance? It all comes down to what she wants, love. We can't protect her from making choices, even if they end up being bad. All be can do is be there for her when she needs us.
[ He smile grows softer. ]
I'm sure you still have feelings for her, Fjord. They don't go away quickly. Obviously you even acted on them back home.
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[ He shakes his head, wondering how many years she lost. ]
It's still a little weird.
[ He frowns at his bacon, looking up at Molly to try and figure out why he's being so understanding. ]
I don't ... not ... feel something. [ So eloquent. ] It's less potent than it was when I arrived, I'll say that.
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[ Fjord, what the fuck.
Honestly, that just reeked of desperate, and it was just... weird. So unlike the Fjord he knows now. However... (insight 16!) ]
...Fjord, were you in a hurry to be with her because you weren't sure you were worthy of love, and she was showing you interest so you didn't want to miss the chance?
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[ Sorry for the eggspit (16 insight gets some solid confirmation on Fjord being confused). ]
She said she had an encounter with a statue and then she got older, and I went to see her and asked if I could kiss her. I told Caleb, [ hissing to keep his voice down at the table as he gestures with his fork to upstairs, ] while we were here that I had been thinking of asking her out because I didn't want to miss my chance, like I missed finding Vandren and any other amount of shit in my life, and that's what I think happened. I think I freaked out seeing her older! I'm a fucking idiot, I know!
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[ Molly tightens his tail hold a little bit, hoping it comes off as soothing and not restraining. ]
So where do you want to go from here?
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[ He feels that tail and it grounds him, even if it's a little tight. It's helpful. ]
I'm with you.
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[ He smiles, watching that handsome - if rather foolish - face. ]
Thank you for reassuring that, though. No, I'm wondering how to help you deal with all of this.
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[ Shrugging, he stabs a bit of bacon. ]
It doesn't sound like she was overly invested in whatever we were doing.
[ Which hurts, all the good intentions she had besides. It feels like his ghostly self in Exandria was cheated on. ]
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[ Molly shakes his head. ]
You can't be possessive of her and tell her she's not your girlfriend at the same time, love.
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[ He shrugs and schools his face to go blank, taking his plate to the sink where he washes it. ]
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[ Molly stands up on the hair, walks over the table, hops down the other side and then sits down on the counter next to the sink. No running allowed, there will be tiefling toemarks where you eat. ]
This is hard on you, I understand that. It's hard on her too, especially since she's lived it. All I'm saying is that you gotta loosen things a little bit. Relax.
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[ Spoiler: he is not relaxed. His shoulders slump as he stares at Molly's knees next to him where they dangle off the counter, his hands falling limp on the washing up. ]
I can't apologise for wanting better for her. Nothing I do is right, nothing I say goes over the way I want. I just want to make sure she's treated well and has every out she could need.
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See, if you had put it like that from the start, it would have sounded less like blustering and weird possessiveness and more like the worried friend I know you really are.
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[ He moves sideways into the hug, resting his cheek on Molly's shoulder since the tiefling is higher. ]
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Mm. You're not. [ Anymore. ] You're sexily possessive sometime, that's a good thing. [ He says with a chuckle and another kiss to a forehead scar. ]
You got a lot of feelings in you and some awkward ways of handling it, but you're good, Fjord. You're not perfect, and I sure as hell am not, lovely features aside. She'll be okay, and you're both allowed your feelings. Just don't fault her for how she handles hers.
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[ Since he's offloading, ]
When I used to entertain the idea of ... me and her ... it was perfect. There was no one else. I suppose I miss having that unspoiled notion, because it can't get un-ruined.
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Sounds not too different from her idea of you being her Oskar. A fantasy. It sucks to be ruined, the stories are always better. Truth is so fucking exhausting.
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[ He doesn't want to live in some fantasy, and he fucking hates Oskar. Raising his head, he looks at Molly. ]
You're being a very cool boyfriend about this, top marks.
[ He has noticed. ]
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[ Molly says with a wink, joking. Well... half-joking, he was needling that fact in before Fjord flounced again. ]
I'm not worried that you'll run off with her and I'm not jealous of things that nobody can control. You definitely picked me, you made that loud and clear last night. So I'm good, love. Just trying some damage control.
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I feel like I'm breaking apart on this island, sometimes. I can't ... I'm not the best at sharing, it gets hard to breathe sometimes, the whole ... mating with multiple people, it doesn't feel wrong but it hurts more than it feels good. I can't love all these people all the time, then be okay with sharing them. I'm really trying here, Molly.
You keep me in one piece.
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That's a big responsibility. [ Molly murmurs against the half-orc. ] Don't push yourself so much. I'm here, okay? I can't fix all of this mess but I can love you effortlessly. I am only yours, no matter who else I sleep with. Our bed, our room. Our little rules.
[ Which was why it hurt a little when they talked about his bruises, last time. He doesn't fuck around as much as people (Fjord) think, and he saves all his romancing for one person. One insecure, confused and tired half-orc. ]
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[ It's touching to hear it all, reassured by how easily Molly reels off his devotion. The lingering sense that Fjord hasn't been entirely clear rises up again and he leans back enough to look into those red eyes. ]
Molly ...
[ His face crumples as if staving off real upset. ]
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...yes?
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[ Fjord sinks forward to find the curve of a shoulder, fingers curling in the back of Molly's clothes. Seven months in and he has hit his limit, or what feels like it. ]
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[ Molly hugs him again at that, holding on. It has been far too long here, and he understands that longing and ache. The feeling of being just done with this place and the Augur. ]
Me too, love. Me too.
[ Yet there's always that part of him, that piece he's tried to compartmentalize and forget about that whispers 'dead' in his heart every time he hears the sentence 'going home'. ]
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