It's all bullshit, don't worry. There will be people wearing full plate armour, the real kind, because they're bonkers and planning on not actually hitting anything on the battlefield, and you'll never look weirder than they do. Just invent whatever you want and they'll lap it up.

[ He clears his throat as their dessert arrives, sticking his nose in the air. ]

I, of course, will be immune to your charms as a holy man.